Our day-to-day adventures as we experience life abroad.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

finns vs. russians

Last weekend, Jonathan's jealousy of my trip to Finland finally got to him, so we decided to visit the small Finnish border town of Lappeenranta. Little did we know that we were in for a weekend of some of the most extreme contrasts known to man.

There's one narrow highway that leaves St. Petersburg and crosses into Finland. We'd been warned that people drive a little "recklessly," so we should be careful. Considering how most Russians seem to be out until all hours drinking on Friday nights, we thought that getting up really early on Saturday would spare us most traffic. We dragged ourselves out of bed at 5:30 on Saturday and were on our way out of town by 6:30. Despite the wee hour, the highway still had its shared of major jerks. It was nothing compared to the ride home though, so I'll save that for later. (At least I don't think it was as bad. It was pretty dark out, so maybe I'll never know.)

We pulled into Lappeenranta at around 10:00 AM. We checked into our hotel and I took a brief nap while Jonathan staked out the town. After my nap, stop Number One was Hesburger, which Jonathan has been mentally drooling about since I ate there two weeks ago. We took a slow stroll in the drizzle, past a pristine harbor, through a quaint downtown, past an old cemetary covered in glorious golden leaves, and eventually reached Hesburger. After an incredibly fattening lunch, we reversed our walk back to the hotel, changing the route a little bit to include passing an old church and a WWII memorial.

I'm finding it more and more difficult to put into words how refreshingly crisp and beautiful everything from the sidewalks to the cars to the trees to the air is in Finland. Anyone who's reading this and has been to Scandinavia knows what I'm talking about; the rest of you will have to imagine. Visualize the coziest, sweetest small town you've ever been too. Times a hundred. Or the set of Gilmore Girls. Times a hundred. And every breath of air feels like you're in a chamber of pure oxygen.

After stopping by our hotel to warm up and dry off, we went back out to an adorable museum displaying the artifacts of a multi-generational family, in the house they'd lived in since the 1820s. We were given a tour by a very clean-looking woman with funky glasses and a great sense of humor. She knew everything about every object in the house. This knick-knack? It was built by a Finnish company in the 1930s that specialized in blown glass. It went out of business shortly after when Russia invaded Karelia during the Winter War. You get the idea.

Then we went to the tiny movie theatre and saw "The Devil Wears Prada," since it was the only thing playing.

Then to dinner at a tiny tiny restaurant with amazing food and a perfectly rustic decor. I had reindeer meat, seasoned with rosemary, and a mushroom pie. Drool. We followed this with coffee and dessert at the hotel bar. Even the hotel bar had awesome coffee and Finnish specialty desserts. (Jonathan had some kind of melty cheese concoction with cinammon and arctic cloudberries. Drool.)

The next day we got up to discover that practically everything in the whole town was closed. This place is so low-key, even the Acme-sized grocery stores close on Sundays. Can you imagine? We wandered up the hill at the top of town, which had an amazing view over the harbor, and had little shops built around the foundations of what was once a castle and fortress. We found a coffee shop and a souvenier shop open, and also stumbled upon an outdoor theatre that had been showered in fallen maple leaves. It was so beautiful it hurt.

Then...

the drive back.

Pictures of the town will be posted in the future. I have to wait for the film. The drive back, however, I took digital snapshots out the window. Here is Jonathan driving in Finland. Look how happy he is!



Here's some shots of Finnish countryside...





and look, a REAL "watch out for moose" sign!



Then we crossed the border, and crazy things began to happen. First of all, this is just past customs- this is the line of trucks waiting to go through customs. This went on for MILES. They're just plain STOPPED in the oncoming traffic lane, which means that unless someone wants to spend, say, 9 hours waiting for them, they will pass the trucks, driving INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC, which means oncoming traffic has to essentially pull in the ditch. This is insanity.



After getting by this shining example of planning and engineering, the real fun began. Most of the road back to St. Petersburg is narrow and winding. Lots of blind corners. No shoulder. Very often not much of a ditch. And the entire way, it's only two lanes. I should also preface this with the fact that most Russians who can afford a car think of themselves as above the law; also, Russian police are too busy taking bribes to actually enforce the law.

So, going under 100 kph means you are a road block to be passed. And pass you they will, whenever they feel like it. A Russian in a Mercedes has no fear of death. Nor does he care about the well-being of the person he's passing. Thus, approximately every 3 minutes, for the entire ride back, a BMW would come out of nowhere and whip around us, blind corners and oncoming traffic be damned. Here are some photos of the insanity. Keep in mind that this is all happening at about 70 mph.

This is a guy just pulling out to pass. Notice the headlights coming from the other direction. Not that he cares.



Here is an SUV that just pulled back in after passing someone. Note the oncoming truck.



And my personal favorite, this is a guy who's halfway through passing someone, right in front of an oncoming semi.



After this it started to rain, which also did not deter the insanity. There were many many many examples that were MUCH closer calls than these photos; but when I started seeing my life flash before my eyes, I decided to stop taking pictures.

In addition to this madness, there was also the fact that when there WAS a shoulder, trucks would pull onto it so people could pass them without crossing into oncoming traffic. Observe:



And last but not least, there's the people who set up road-side stands to sell produce. They stand a good chance of dying themselves, or killing others, such as when someone pulls over to buy something, thus blocking the shoulder, thus the truck driving onto the shoulder has to swerve back into his lane, thus sending the person in his lane (trying to pass him) into oncoming traffic.

"Mmm! Come get your fresh veggies in the box on the shoulder! We'll be over here by the trash fire, keeping warm."



Honestly, who would prefer this to the supermarket?

After adding all this up, really it should come as no surprise that the fatality rate for highway accidents alone in Russia is over 12,000 deaths per year. That's about 345 deadly car accidents per day, people. All of which is why we may never see Lappeenranta again, considering that we are never, ever, ever going to drive down that road again. We're looking into taking the train over the border and then catching a bus, but it might not happen. That town is like Eldorado. Watch, no one will believe we've been there. It was only alive during the 24 hours we were there, the one day each century its citizens get to come to life. When I get my film developed it will just be all black.

Anyway, after some miracle or the pity of god allowed us to get home in one piece, and after returning to the land of filthy sidewalks and dying trees, I've been on a Russia-hating kick that I'm trying to get over, lest I be miserable for the next year and a half. I'm having to walk around, saying to myself, "Okay, not ALL Russians are selfish, wreckless, life-sucking jerks... not ALL Russians are selfish, wreckless, life-sucking jerks..." Good thing I met the cute little old Russian scientist on the train the weekend before. The thought of him restores my hope...

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