Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Many people have been commenting that it’s been too long since I’ve posted a blog. I thought I was going at a pretty good pace, but I guess the frequency has dropped off a bit. Well, I have many excuses- wait, reasons! I mean reasons!- as to why it’s been a while.

Reason #1- G8. Okay, so I really wasn’t personally, deeply involved or anything, but it seemed to bring everything in the city to a screeching halt. (Everything but street cleaners, that is.) So why not me too? Incidentally, I did get to see President Bush’s motorcade, from about 3 feet away, as it screamed down the street. Even if I had been able to make out the man himself, it was definitely NOT the highlight of my week. As for my insights on G8, since I was in the city that hosted it, well, I don’t have any. I can’t understand Russian news enough to get the local take on the event. And for the brief moments when CNN is on AFN, all they’ve been showing is Bush swearing and talking with his mouth full. That’s not being a good diplomat! Tsk tsk!

Reason #2- Friggin’ dial-up. How much longer can I milk this?

Reason #3- My previous MySpace rant about all the friend requests from strangers kind of backfired. Since then, I’ve been getting actual emails from people. Cool people. Lots of them. Which is great, on one hand, but hooo, it takes a lot of time. See, I’m trapped with dial-up… no? Not good enough anymore? Rats.

Reason #4- I started working. It seems to be one of those jobs that I always end up with- the kind that affords me a fair amount of internet time- but, when I started I was given many lectures about how I have No Expectation of Privacy, which freaked me out and makes me nervous about doing anything online but, say, reading the news. And playing Typer Shark. Nothing will keep me from Typer Shark.

Reason #5- I’ve started cooking more often. I don’t like cooking, really at all, but I’ve discovered that if I have a craving for something, I have little choice but to make it. The joy of mayo-slathered, gristly meat has started to wear off. Aside from bistros, there are of course regular restaurants, but most are ghastly expensive. So, cooking it is. And, actually, I have become so desperate to eat something raw and fresh that I’ve been going to sushi places. Those of you who really know me know that I am NOT a sushi fan. And, I realize “Russian Sushi” sounds like a recipe for “Gastrointestinal Disaster.” But, so far I haven’t had any problems, and I’m so thrilled to eat something light that I’ve been choking down California rolls on a weekly basis. Aside from the sushi, chopping and sautéing and baking at home it is.

Reason #6- I have been doing interesting things. So many interesting things, in fact, that I haven’t had enough time left to blog about them. Worry not, I’ll make time soon. Last weekend Jonathan and I took a pleasant walk to some well-known sites all around the city. I’ve been meaning to blog about it, but first I have to get the pictures developed. Yes, I still use film. I have a great SLR whose picture quality is worth the wait, rather than using my pint-sized digital. Yes, I know they make digital SLRs too. But I already have the film one. And I like it. And I can’t afford a digital. So, anyway, I have to get the film developed and scanned before I can post pictures to accompany the story. And getting film developed is quite the adventure. I dropped it off yesterday and made an incredible fool of myself. I’d looked up how to say “Scan to CD” in Russian, and went into the store thinking I was well prepared. I requested a Scan to CD and asked how much it cost- then I was told it would be 5 rubles per negative. I wasn’t sure what that meant. So then I tried asking if they could do a whole roll or if I had to pick out individual negatives. I really, desperately tried. I was met with blank stares. I called Jonathan to see if he could translate over the phone for me- but the photo stuff is so random and technical he was worried he might end up telling them the wrong thing. As I was flipping through my phrase book, trying to figure out how to say “I’ll come back tomorrow with a dictionary,” the woman at the counter left and came back with someone who spoke some English. Between the two of us, I think we figured it out. Guess I’ll find out today when I pick up my order. And to round out the embarrassment, there was the extra-humiliating situation when she asked for my phone number. I couldn’t remember my cell number, so first I looked through all the options on my phone to see if it was listed, and then I called Jonathan to find out what it was. Come to find out later that there’s a HUGE STICKER on the BACK OF THE PHONE listing the number. I must have looked ultra, incredibly stupid. “Sheesh, her Russian is horrible, and she’s so dumb, she doesn’t even know her own phone number, even though it’s RIGHT THERE. Stupid blonde Americans.”

Speaking of my horrible Russian-

Reason #7- I started taking Russian classes here. 3 times a week, with actual homework. Very, very surreal. I haven’t been in a classroom in ages. The teacher is great, and I think she might actually succeed in explaining cases and genders and all to me. I’ve just been memorizing whole phrases so far- phrases such as “Please call an ambulance!” or “How much does the apple cost?” Coming up with new and different ones on my own has been pretty much impossible. If I try, it comes out sounding like “Me pancake delicious orange, please?”

And speaking of learnin’-

Reason #8- I also started taking voice lessons. From a fabulous Russian woman who is pretty insistent on my striving for perfection. Which is a good thing. She doesn’t speak English, and as we’ve established, my Russian is very bad, so Jonathan’s been coming along to translate. I’ll have to go into more detail about the lessons later- they’re truly an insight into the local mindset and way of life. Right now I actually have to leave to go to my weekly lesson.

So, I hope my list of excu- er, reasons- tides everyone over for a bit. I have no plans to quit this altogether or anything. The stories about Slavic life will continue! Patience, my friends! Patience!